Poguelife @goldenpogue - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag (2024)

What is Love

Drew Starkey x Reader (angst)

Summary: You and Drew used to have something. Although you thought you had moved on from it, you can't help reminiscing about the past. (recommend listening to say you won't let go by James Arthur and too good at goodbyes by sam smith while reading to add to the mood)

warning: sad alert, one cuss word, kinda long

Today was a special day for Madelyn and Chase, it was their wedding day. You couldn't express how excited you were for them. When Madelyn asked you to be one of her bridesmaids, you didn't hesitate to say yes. They decided to get married by the beach, in a nearby chapel. The chapel was surrounded by glass so you could see the ocean view. It was perfect. You wouldn't have missed this moment for the world. Her walking down the aisle and the amazed tears in Chase's eyes made this moment the most beautiful sight to see. You found yourself thinking about how you couldn't wait to be in this position. Newlywed, happy with the person you love- the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Your eyes teared up at the thought. Spotting Drew looking at you from your peripheral vision, you chose to ignore him. Turning your attention back to the couple as they begin to state their vows.

Chase clears his throat and begins, "Before I met you I didn't think I'd find someone who matched me so well. Someone who understood every aspect of me, the good and the ugly." He let out a breathy chuckle before continuing as everyone let out soft laughs, "Even the parts of me that I don't even fully understand myself. I knew when I first saw you that you had to be the one. You truly are the other half that I never knew I needed and for that I promise, for you, I will aim for the stars and beyond to make you happy. Through thick and through thin, I'll be there. When things get tough, just look right beside you and I'll be right there."

You smiled faintly through your tears, taking in every word Chase said. You finally made eye contact with the one person you had been avoiding this whole time. You thought about how you first met, at a party Madelyn had invited you to come to. You two clicked and the rest of the party was spent getting shit-faced together. That night you ended up staying at his place and mostly throw up while he held your hair back. The next morning, he teased you about how you couldn't hold your alcohol as he made you breakfast. You couldn't help, but to smile as you knew you gained a bond that day you had never had with anyone else. As the days went by, you began to fall in love with him. Everything he did made you love him even more. Even the things he didn't like about himself, you loved.

Your smile fades away as you shake your head, shaking away the thoughts. You wipe your tears and take a deep breath as it's Madelyn's turn to give her vow. "Well, I don't know if I can beat that but I'll try," everyone laughs before going quiet again.

"I love you so much, I can say that every hour and it still won't add up to how much I really do. I love you with all my heart. I was afraid that I wouldn't find the person that would love me the same way I'd love them until I met you. The way you make my heart race, the way you give me butterflies, the way you make me smile is like no other. I am grateful to have you in my life. I will, from this day on, be your forever as you are my always. I'll hold your hand and walk with you through any obstacle that comes your way, and I promise I won't let go."

"I won't let go"- the same words he said to you on your first date. You went hiking in the forest, something you weren't to fond of doing at first because you didn't like the thought of insects and possible wild animals. However, being with him made you comfortable. He wanted to show you what he called "a beautiful sight", but you had to climb a bit to get there. While climbing over the ledge you slipped and scrapped your knee. He made sure you were okay and grabbed your hand. You were a little reluctant to continue after that until he reassured you. "It's okay. I won't let you fall again, I promise. I won't let go." He softly squeezed your hand as you nodded in agreement.

You started going on multiple dates after that and you assumed that meant the feelings you had were being reciprocated. The truth was far from it. You sadly didn't realize that 'til you saw her. His arm wrapped around her, the same way he wrapped it around you. His eyes looking at her, the same way he looked at you. In that moment, you questioned everything. Had it been one sided this whole time? He'd say no. He'd say he loved you, but you knew the truth. He may have loved you, just not the same way you loved him. You had accepted every gift and every loving word from him with devotion. His love to you was everything, but your love to him was replaceable.

Your thoughts are interrupted once more by the cheers of the crowd. You look up to see Madelyn and Chase kissing. Smiling, you start cheering along as Chase picks up Maddie up and begins walking down the aisle. Everyone follows them out of the chapel and Madelyn decides to throw her flowers towards you and the other bridesmaids as they get into their car. The flowers fall in your direction and you instinctively catch them. People around you cheer as you glance at him. He looks at you with a look of slight sadness and regret.

Sometimes you love people and they don't realize how amazing that is until they don't have you anymore. You have to learn to appreciate those people for the experience, but not to dwell on them. If they didn't appreciate you when you were around, they don't get to try after they hurt you. It's sad, but its true- they aren't worth it.

You turn to Maddison and hand her the flowers, "I think you deserve these more than me." She exchanges smiles with you and accepts them. You look at Drew one last time, your smile remaining as you turn to walk away.

Authors Note: thank you for reading.

Poguelife @goldenpogue - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag (2024)

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